Are These 3 Excuses Stopping You? Overcoming Self-Sabotage Behavior

You’re far from complacent. You understand that to get ahead you need to make your own opportunities.

So what are you supposed to do if you’ve been putting in the effort but not seeing the results?

Many of our clients tell us that as the years go by, they refine their dreams—not because their desires have changed but because they worry the big vision that used to fuel them no longer seems attainable.

It can be a confusing, overwhelming time. You still want to achieve those lofty goals but you’re also trying to manage your expectations.

When you started your career in the performing arts, you knew you’d encounter roadblocks. Some of the obstacles are external—and the only thing you can control is how you react to them.

But if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll realize that a lot of the obstacles you’re faced with are internal. These common forms of self-sabotage behavior can be just as debilitating as the things that happen outside of yourself.

Here are the top 3 excuses we hear our clients use, and how to tear through them.

Self-Sabotage Behavior #1: I’m Self-Conscious

Marketing yourself can be intimidating. You’re putting yourself out there—and not everyone is going to love your work. When you’ve “found your voice” and you promote yourself in a way that feels good, it doesn’t guarantee that everyone is going to love what you have to say or how you say it.

That’s okay. Your goal shouldn’t be about pleasing everyone (which is impossible). Instead, surround yourself with like-minded people who understand what you’re trying to accomplish—and more importantly, why it’s so important to you. Find a team of coaches, teachers, friends, and other musicians or performers who support you, even when the road gets challenging.

Nothing banishes self-consciousness and self-sabotage faster than unwavering support. (Our Ignite Your Dream Workshop is the perfect place to expand your network.)

Self-Sabotage Behavior #2: I’m Not Ready

What comes to mind when I mention meeting and networking with new people? You might get anxious just thinking about it. (Afterall, first impressions are important.) That fear can keep you from showing up to key events, or it might make you shy away from promoting your work.

The underlying feeling beneath this excuse is thinking that you have to prove yourself before you meet people on a certain level. The trouble is, that “thing” you have to prove keeps getting pushed out farther and farther out. It’s like you’re running a marathon but the finish line keeps getting extended farther.

The reality is, you might not be ready! We rarely feel completely prepared when faced with a new opportunity. So instead of waiting to be ready, show up fully and trust what unfolds.

Self-Sabotage Behavior #3: I’m Getting Negative Feedback

Never let one person’s opinion stop you. Even if it’s your dad’s or sister’s or friend’s. You know that in this business there will always be naysayers. Keep forging ahead toward your dreams.

If you’re consistently getting a similar message from a bunch of people, it might be worth paying attention to that feedback and tweaking your message.  Look at what you’re putting out there, as well as the way in which you’re promoting it.

It’s possible that you’re ineffectively communicating what you do. The negative feedback you receive might be a reaction to the way you’re sharing your message, rather than the idea itself. If you are getting consistent negative feedback, figure out what they’re reacting to, and hone your message so that it’s crystal clear.

If there are only a couple of naysayers, filter their voices out by getting clear about your personal values and goals.

Remember, negative feedback is a signal that you’re out there doing something. If you’re not getting a negative comment now and then, it likely means you haven’t been “in the arena,” instead you’re just watching from the sidelines. And that’s not why you started this journey.

What self-sabotage behavior have you had to overcome to get where you are today? Are there still thoughts or beliefs that hold you back? Share your lessons and tips in the comments below.

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